I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
