I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize