We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
