I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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