My room smells like vodka and shame
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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