Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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