she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
this beer tastes like vomit already
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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