Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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