My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
ttyl tear gas
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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