I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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