May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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