fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Boobs are out for the taking
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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