It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
