im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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