Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize