He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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