Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
