Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
