Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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