So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
