My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
