I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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