I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the liver wants what the liver wants
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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