all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
