don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
