It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
