we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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