i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
