I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
