i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize