I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize