Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
