If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
