I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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