Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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