During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
