So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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