no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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