I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
its not stalking. its research.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
