Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize