Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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