She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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