That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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