the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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