I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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