If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
