Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
