haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize