After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
