the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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