I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
