I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
