so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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