walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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