My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's rum buckets o'clock
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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