Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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